What do I really want?


Apparently, I really don’t know what do I really want or what should I do. I don’t know. Have you guys any have struggles like this?

Well, it’s hard. I’ve been thinking a lot. On what do I want to do or what are the things should I do but I really don’t know. These past few days, as I’ve surf through net, seeing people outside, watching TV and more, I kept thinking, what I really wanted to be or is there something I should do to satisfy myself? There’s something lacking, I know. I can feel it, but I don’t know where and what should I start.

My life has been through a lot ever since I started college. I was challenged physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. It’s a hard battle and it’s still on going. There are lots of things I wanted to do but I ended up not doing anything. You get this moment “I will do this later” and when that moment come I don’t do anything. I’m like being frozen or something. It will just came that I don’t feel like doing it and then I’ll keep thinking again if there’s something more that I should do OR there are moments that I am so enthusiast to do something but I can’t do it because something’s blocking you or stopping you to do it. Then I ended up really doing nothing.

Where do I start? It’s like I’m lost. Like I don’t really know myself anymore. I sometimes question what my future leads ahead. There are a lot of things I wanted to try and look for but I don’t know if that’s what I really wanna do or it’s for me. I envy those people who are doing those things they really love. I envy those people who found what do they really want to do. I want to be like that too!

I’m losing focus. So many things in my head and so many things that I think I’m capable of, I ended up not knowing what do I really want to do. This is really hard for me because I feel like nothing at all. Everyday, it’s all the same. It’s becoming boring. I try to give effort but I feel like they’re just wasted.

Sorry if this is really emotional. I just thought I have to write about this and thank you if you’re reading as well as you give advice. Thank you.

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The things I do…

Harooo! It’s sure been a while here XD Gomene– I have not updated again my blog for almost 2 weeks ๐Ÿ™ I hope you guys are not on hiatus XD Anyways, I can say I am not that busy but I have lots of things to do. I always keep in mind to blog but I never did and missed those stories. I also missed the days of my 365 project ๐Ÿ™ They’re not complete but I will still continue… : So what have I been doing really lately? O.O

  • Work – This is a compliance.
  • Sleep –ย  another compliance XD
  • Watch Kdrama/Jdrama – I HAVE BEEN! AND CANNOT STOP! >.< Well, I started @ Q10 and eventually stopped on Ep.2 and then my eyes caught Flower Boy Next Door WHICH IS STILL ON GOING AND I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE!!! XD *Sorry for the capz, fangurl mode* But I shall finish Q10 for Takeru BB’s sake XD So whenever weekends came or I’m home on weekdays, I watched @ Dramacrazy and eventually missed the chance to blog =.=
  • Read Mangaย – Doujins or Original works, I read. A lot. ๐Ÿ˜€
  • DRAGON NEST – Well, I think I grew tired of iDate XD I am now playing and very addicted to this game! *WOOHOO* HAHAHAHA! This what took most of my time. I sometimes end up sleeping late or not sleeping at all specially on weekends XD I’m an online gamer! Woah! XD So anyone playing this game? I really like this game ๐Ÿ˜€

Server: Westwood
IGN: bklngpusa
Job: Academic | Engineer
Current Lvl: 32

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  If your playing this game ๐Ÿ™‚ Let’s be friends XD HAHAHAHA!

So have I been really busy? or just being bum? I kinda miss doing these things ๐Ÿ™ I felt that this is just so me ๐Ÿ™ Also, recently, I kinda felt left alone. I feel like there is no one. Which makes my every day boring. I guess I’m having friend issues =.=

Oh well, that’s life! Adios ;D

PS: I kinda hate tumblr posting method. I want the older one >.<

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ใƒ—ใƒช่ช•็”Ÿๆ—ฅใฎ็ฅใ„ :)

The title says, pre-birthday celebration XD Sorry if I had to type it Japanese, I just wanted to XD LOLZ!

Anyways, I’m currently 23 now. Getting old isn’t that much fun XD I decided not to throw a party or treat friends for my birthday. I just want it to be me and normal, just to be different ๐Ÿ™‚ But I guess, I can consider these as my pre-birthday celebration, right? ๐Ÿ™‚


My day 12: From Enshantei Kingdom with love~

Me and my office mates decided to go to EK. Just for fun ๐Ÿ™‚ Well, I kinda miss this place. My last time was still in High school XD and so far, nothing’s change ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s the same old EK I met before ๐Ÿ™‚ Aside from the new rides, Magic Disk and Extreme ๐Ÿ˜€ It was also my first time to commute on going here XD Fun!

From the Entrance ๐Ÿ™‚

Let’s Volt In!!! ENSHANTEI!!!! :))

The first ride we took was the Anchor’s Away. As usual, it made my tummy curled up and my body shaking after XD I’m not into shouting when riding extreme rides. When it’s ultimately scary, I just froze and close my eyes ๐Ÿ˜€ HAHAHAHA! Oh yeah, it really took us 45 mins just for this one XD

From left to right, first four, the les-be-honest ft. Cheche, Me (baklangpusa) and Candy :))


So the second ride was the Space Shuttle. Third time here and still pretty scary! I, again, closed my eyes and shut myself XD It was raining before and told myself not to ride the roller coaster if it still rains on our turn. Yes, I am paranoid from the Final Destination thingy XDD AHAHAHA! But it stopped so there I am in the picture XD We almost wait for 2 hours for this ride XD

Then there we are at the Ferris Wheel but we didn’t rode this one because some of them doesn’t like it too TT.TT During this time, the beautiful fireworks presentation started. We miss taking pictures of it for we are so awe in the beauty XD After this, we went to Jungle Log Jam. No pictures because it’s already too dark ๐Ÿ™

Then we moved on to Flying Fiesta ๐Ÿ™‚ One of the favorites <3 Heehee~

The last ride my office mates rode was the newly added ride, Magic Disk. I dislike that ride for it’s just spinning so I just stay behind. While waiting for them, I saw a horror house! I didn’t know there was a horror house here XD Then they text me to fall in line in Rio Grande, unfortunately EK stops their operation exactly at 9pm and we missed it! >.< We missed a lot of ride: Rio grande, Rialto, Extreme and Horror House :((

Then it was time to go home ๐Ÿ™ We still have lots of fun though we missed some ride ๐Ÿ™‚ The bonding was still awesome ๐Ÿ˜€ Next time ulit :3


011613 was Sambokojin Day! Finally! I’ve been eyeing this Restaurant before and I so wanted to eat here and finally the day has come! Thanks to my 2 colleagues who loves eating and Japanese Cuisine ๐Ÿ™‚ This is our bonding, food hunting ๐Ÿ˜€

In my opinion, Sambokojin is a little bit better than Yakimix XD Especially the sushis and meats <3 Although Yakimix has more variety of selection, I love Sambokojin XDD Will definitely eat here again 8D

So this is my birthday celebration? XD Thank you for the blessing! Hello twenty-three me! XD

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365 days…

I started doing 365 days of photo collection ๐Ÿ™‚ You all probably know what is this all about since a lot of people are doing it ๐Ÿ˜€ I’ve wanted to try this way way back before but wasn’t able to accomplish it. Reason: laptop sucks. My patience ended using my old laptop since it was so slow. It can’t even work fast with Photoshop and that greatly affects my mood. I just lost interest XD But know I have a new desktop. It feels easier so I started again.ย 

I like taking pictures too. Everyday is so random. I’m fine with my mobile’s camera, the pictures looks good somehow ๐Ÿ™‚ but I’m planning on getting a new phone ๐Ÿ˜€ I don’t upload the pictures everyday since i’m on dorm. I ended up uploading them when I get home on weekends. It sucks I don’t have internet at our dorm >.< Anyways, I’m having fun with this and I even encourage my friendย to do the same ๐Ÿ™‚ HAHAHA!

I guess it’s nice to have these kind of stuffs where you usually have an everyday update so when you blog or need to update any of your social sites, you won’t get empty-handed. You’ve always got a story to tell ๐Ÿ˜€ I was seriously still thinking on what topics or issues should I focus on my blog too. Since I’m a fangirl, I would of course, have to do it with my fandoms. Yes, probably that’s it ๐Ÿ˜€ So for the next update would be fandom stuffs ๐Ÿ™‚

I also notice, when I blogged hop, most of my blogger friends are now inactive ๐Ÿ™ Oh well, I feel you on whatever reasons you have :))

It’s Monday and I have work. I’ll be going back to dorm later so see you again by weekend XD

Btw— This post is so random XD

Photo Descriptions

01: new hair for 2013.
02: Made a new layout for my blog ๐Ÿ˜€
03: Learned Spanish XD
04: Carbonara + Vodka Snack <3
05: Weekend Chill with officemates.
06: Badminton day with HS Friends.ย 

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Hello 2013!

It’s not yet late! So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you guys! How’s your Christmas vacation? Mine was just okay. Both of my Christmas and New Year wasn’t as crazy as before. It’s my family’s first time to celebrate Xmas and New Year without my sister because she’s away from work (Quezon Province). I had worked on 31st so I came almost 1 hour left before 12mn. Too exhausted to party-party and the dabarkadz are not complete. So we just did some simple chilling XD Hahaha! Anyways, ย I’m still glad we’ve reached 2013 ๐Ÿ˜€ So enough of those end of the world issues >.<

I don’t make new year’s resolution but I wanted to get myself motivated more in blogging. I tried to stop but I’m kinda missing it. LOL! Anyways, I DO HOPE, I will blog more this year and should I take topics rather than personal post? I’m not really good on that. I was wondering post with themes or topics are really getting much attention than personal stuffs (like daily life ramblings). I would like this blog to get more interaction with the readers so I can feel its life ๐Ÿ˜€ What do you think?

One more problem is that, I’m on dorm on weekdays due to work so I don’t have internet or net life. So the only time I could make posts are on weekends. And sometimes weekends are also booked, so I don’t get really have time T.T

ANYWAY—- I will still blog. YEHEY! Clap! Clap!

Talking about 2012, what are my most unforgettable memories?

  • BIGBANG ALIVE TOUR CONCERT MNL 2012 –ย Shit!! I was there! ย And IT WAS AWESOMMMEEE!!!ย Enuff said!ย I failed to make a blog entry regarding this because I don’t have time and my laptop before was a shit for editing and all and I really don’t have time, so the memory just forever stays in my heart, mind, body and soul XDDD
  • SAGADA TRIP – IT’S A ONE OF A KIND TRIP! I really had so much fun! The Spelunking was my first time agaw-buhay experience which I am thinking not to do it again but it was a very fun experience! Like much trekking? GO TO SAGADAAAA!!! <3 (Another failed entry because the reason is the same as above >.<)
  • RUROUNI KENSHIN MOVIE – The moment I am able to meet Himura Kenshin alive!!!! OMAYGAASSYESS!!! Watched it two-times and it was really AWEEESSOMMEE!! <3 Sato BB is pure love! TT.TT He’s now uber popular TT.TT If you haven’t watch this yet, YOU BETTER NOW! GO GET DOWNLOAD ANYWHERE YOU CAN! XDDD AHAHAHAHA!
  • NEW DESKTOP –ย The moment of my life which I can scream to the world that I AM FREEEEE!!!! Free from my crapshit laptop! This was the very moment!!! I can breathe now! And thanks for my credit card, which I was talking on my other post XD MY FIRST SWIPE BELONGS TO HERE <3 THANK YOU! XDDD Now I need to monitor my balance O.O XDDD

Well, that’s the my 2012 most unforgettable ๐Ÿ˜€ What about yours? I bet yours is more colorful than mine XD Heehee~ So that’s it for my first post for 2013! Please look forward for more ๐Ÿ™‚

PS: Guys, are your blogs still alive? Will do blog hopping now ๐Ÿ˜€

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